Last week, we started off our Establishing Boundaries talk with they importance of having clear boundaries, as well as the first type out of the three; Rigid boundaries. This week will discuss the second type of boundary, Porous Boundaries.

What does it mean to have Porous Boundaries?

A person with porous boundaries are often too involved with others. They are usually highly dependent on other people and struggle with feelings of anxiety, burnout and a need to please others. They also have a difficult time saying no to other people’s request and/or demands, as well as being unable to speak up for their wants and desires out of fear of disappointing others.

If you have porous boundaries, it most likely may have stemmed from your family system.

When you’re someone that has porous boundaries, it’s important that you first understand the value of self. Understanding that value means, that you are not responsible for the emotions and feelings of others, and knowing that you can’t please everyone. And that is OK. Before attempting to meet the needs of others, you must first make sure that your needs are met. This comes with being truthful about how you feel, what you think, and how something affects you. This can be done with family, friends and partners.